Crap Phones

Here are some of my oldest crap phones. Cutting edge technology. I hope you enjoy these.

What crap phones have you got hidden away in the back of the cupboard? What are your favourite feature found on old crap phones like these?

Please feel free to leave comments at the bottom of the page.

Orbitel 902 "Pocket" Phone

Orbitel Pocket Phone

From 1993, this is my Orbitel 902 "Pocket Phone". How on earth they thought they could call this a "pocket" phone is beyond me. It even takes the ancient credit card sized sim cards. When these phones were new, they took 12 hours to charge, and only had 12 hours standby time! If you decided to actually use the phone, it would only last just over an hour on a full charge. Crap.

Orbitel Pocket Phone Spec
Send SMSNo
CameraEr, no.
Turns off when pressing the backYes

Mitubishi Trium Galaxy

Mitsubishi Trium Phone

This crap phone is my Mitsubishi Trium, specifically the Galaxy model. I think it has this name because the antenna reaches half way across the galaxy. The teeny weeny dot matrix display is actually capable if displaying graphics, which looked quite impressive back in 1999. The standby time is actually very impressive at 150 hours, but this is because it doesn't actually do anything. The "flap" over the keypad doesn't serve any purpose other than to get in the way, and make you look like you belong on the bridge of the starship enterprise. The antenna did work well, but was a hazard when used near low power cables.

Mitsubishi Trium Spec
MakeTrium (Mitsubishi)
Send SMSNo

Motorola Flare

Motorola Flare

The battery lasted 16 hours on standby, so amazingly it would almost make a whole day on one charge. As long as you didn't use it. After taking the phone to the local weighbridge, I have found that it weighs 250g, although it seems like more. I have fond memories of this phone turning itself off at random intervals, and waiting for an important call only to find the phone has been off for the past hour. This is a battery saving feature. The Motorola Flare is another one of those old crap phones that took the credit card sized sim cards. It has a button on the side that ejects the sim card from the bottom of the phone, and infuriatingly it would get pressed in your pocket and you'd then find you'd missed a days worth of calls because the sim card was half poking out the bottom of the phone. Crap.

Motorola Flare Spec
Send SMSNo
Super stylish triangular buttonsYes
In-pocket Sim card ejectorYes

Please leave your thoughts on these crap phones and any others you might have lying around. It'd be interesting to hear if there are any worse phones out there than these.